A Year Gone By

i forgot i had this thing and it disappeared from all thought. preocuppied with the daily grind has kept me busy and enmeshed in the lives of 2 very lively boys. cole and ethan are now 3 1/2 going on 4 and the changes in them are too numerous to mention. they are funny, thoughtful, observant and sweet mixed with some innate kind of curiosity that pays no attention to rationale.

we just celebrated christmas 2007 to finish out a whole year that i haven't updated this. as this year comes to a close, here are a couple funny stories about the boys:

Upon leaving STL last Weds (for Christmas break) with the boys as we passed the Arch I made sure to point it out to Cole and Ethan. They asked, “What is that?” And I just told them it was the St. Louis Arch, how we knew we were in St. Louis. Cole replied, “It’s like what Amy Lessendelft (our friend Amy Van Essendelft) has in her basement!” and I thought he was goofy, so I said, “I don’t know what you are talking about.” He simply stated, “Amy Lessendelft has a picture of the Arch in her basement by her couch.” I was SHOCKED because she does! It’s a picture of the downtown area with the Arch in it, so I called her up immediately to tell her that funny story and she thought that was very observant of him! I guess he pays attention to a lot more than I think he does…

Ethan has a habit of not wanting to take turns sharing toys, but when he does share he wants to be sure he has enough time. So when most people say, “I would like to do it for 5 minutes and then you can have a turn,” Ethan says, “I want to do it 5, just 5 OK?”

Even though this isn’t really funny at all, it’s very cute: One day this Xmas my sister had to go (by ambulance) to the hospital again for another tachycardic episode. We got there, per Erin’s request, in time to see her taken on the bed into the ambulance; and then they waited another 5 minutes before leaving. During that time Ethan was very curious and said, “Is Aunt Erin in the ambulance?” “Yes,” Nate replied. “Is she on the bed?” Again Nate said, “Yes.” Then Ethan, according to his own understanding of ambulances and hospitals said, “And they will take her to the hospital and give her surgery to make her better?” It was very sweet!

While in NC for Christmas we were passing by Lilly’s school one day and I pointed it out to the boys saying, “...and she gets to ride the bus to school.” Cole looked and thought for a minute and then said, “Ohhh, we won’t get to go to school any more, now that we live at Grammy’s house.” I laughed really hard and told him that we don’t live at Grammy’s, we’re just visiting. Goes to show how kids view time…

both boys refer to paper money as "money paper" and insist on playing with it or having it. we have quickly taught them that mommy and daddy don't have "money paper" just floating around! they have learned to make do with little.

i suppose a lot happens in a year, especially in changing and growing boys. as you can see from the above excerpts, they have quite a vocabulary and are very conversational. sometimes too conversational. often when we are driving in the car we have to ask cole to be quiet because he not only talks all the time, he talks loudly! it's something to love about him.

ethan is trying to quit sucking his thumb, which he only does at night or naps. as a result he isn't falling to sleep as quickly, but he's being very valiant in his efforts, saying " I won't suck my thumb!" we think it's best he get that habit kicked before his permanent teeth come in and before it's even harder to quit.

i guess that's it for this year... on with a new one.

Passing Days

Sometimes the day goes by so slowly, like when the boys are being naughty, tiresome and trying. In those situations, I try to "get by" watching the clock and knowing that "soon it'll be lunch time, " and after that naps, and then Daddy will be home... I suppose that during the frustrations of the longer days, I don't really absorb the movements and goings on in my boys' lives the way a truly grateful person would. I try to "make it through" until Daddy comes home instead of thriving on the zest for life that my boys have. I don't smile as often or laugh as much; I yell and get angry too easily. I let whole days slip away as though it never occurred to me that I will never get that day back.

And then the boys go to sleep, and I have to do everything in my power not to disturb their slumber. I want to see them, touch them, kiss them and relish the quiet in them. I look down on them in their cribs and tears come to my eyes knowing that they are about to be one day older; knowing that the days of sleeping in cribs is even coming to a close. In the night I want time to slow down, the opposite of what a difficult day would hope for. I guess in the quiet I realize that they are gifts I don't deserve, and that even the "difficulty" they may be on some days is a gift! I want to change my thinking so that no matter what the situation, or how tired or nerve-wrecked I am I see them as gifts not to be taken for granted; and not for time to pass by. I need to see them with Jesus' eyes; even more than with a mother's eyes.

Then they were two

Everyone is quick to say things about savoring every moment when your kids are young- they say it from the time they learn you're pregnant, and they keep saying it as the days go by. You smile and agree, saying, "Oh, I will, thanks." And for all intents and purposes, you really do try to savor the moments: the messy ones, the funny ones, the sad, uncomfortable, weird, outrageous and priceless ones.

And suddenly you turn around and your babies aren't babies any more. On April 25th they're two. They are growing out of baby fat and into their necks. They aren't eating mush, they are eating pizza with you. They don't cry when they are hungry, they tell you "hungy-eat?" and when they are poopy they say, "poopy-pans." They know most of the objects in the house by name and can identify each family member by name- rather clearly. They don't wear onesies, just regular boy clothes. They don't want to play with rattles, they want to climb up the swing set and kick the soccer ball. They want to do everything you do, including type on the "pewter" and fix things with Daddy. They just plain aren't babies any more.

Every moment of the past that I'm sure I favored I now need to concentrate on to remember. I need to go back and look at pictures to remember what they looked like as babies and how they grew so fast. I need to watch videos to see and hear their little cries and squeals. And a lot of the time I do want to go back, to hold onto those little baby moments forever.

But then I see who these boys are becoming and I am intrigued by the unkowns that lie ahead. I want to be there every step of the way, just to watch from the sidelines. And I can still smile and say that I will savor every moment-- I'll just try to keep the flavors forever.

Cole just taking a look.

Ah, Cole, what makes him tick? Well, it's not adventures, per se. He is more of a literary buff and prefers conversation and books to silly games. So when the weather is hot, you'll not find Cole running through the sprinkler, or even getting too close to it. He'll pop his head over to the edge where he can keep a safe distance, and talk about how it's "wang-ing" (raining) for a while, adding a gleeful squeal to let you know that he does, in fact, enjoy the water. Just not enough to get in.

Soakin' in Springtime!

What can I say about this boy? He is beautiful, just eating up life every turn of the tide... The other day was blazing hot for an April day in St. Louis- though not unusually hot, I suppose. So we set out to make some fun-in-the-sun and here's what we came up with: the garden sprinklers! Ethan didn't even bat an eye to the fact that the water was cold, he just dove in. See his face? Not sure I can explain the afternoon better than the look on his face. He just stood there getting wetter and wetter and laughing and splashing and drinking that water. It was fun to watch the differences in the boys, and in this episode we see Daddy's adventurous spirit in Ethan. He just didn't hesitate- he went all in. Isn't it glorious? There are so many things I can learn from him.

Grandma Blough with Carl, Nate and the twins.

Full of surprises

They never cease to amaze me. Just when I think I have them "figured out" I am again surprised by what my boys will do.

We just spent 5 days traveling and in Pennsylvania visiting Nate's grandmas. They live in retirement communities/nursing homes and I was so worried that the boys would be shy and fussy while we were away. To my wonderment, they were completely opposite and what a joy it was to watch them! I saw my boys hug and kiss their great-grandmas upon first meeting them; watched them laugh and play in the sitting areas of the nursing home while old folks walked by and by; I saw the boys entertain our whole family for hours with just a styrofoam cup; I saw the smiles on the grandmas' faces and the joy brought from miles away by two little guys with no plan or agenda.

It was a beautiful sight and a great experience- it was a blessing. I got to see my boys happy in a strange situation, and they made everyone feel comfortable and loved. And I love them for it.

Bear hugs from Cole make my heart glad.

Classic

The boys have been growing in their ability to understand sharing and loving lately. Oh, they don't really know what either of those things mean but they do "get it" sometimes. Ethan is my particularly physical child. He follows Cole around when Cole has anything he might want, and pushes Cole down the hallway. He bites when he's at a loss for any better way to get what he wants. And he runs around like a crazy kid, screaming at the top of his lungs when he's happy or sad or mad. So Cole has learned to share- perhaps out of desperation for his own safety; or perhaps because he really does want Ethan to be happy. He'll do a sweet thing by giving Ethan that object he only just fought over, and then follow it with a bear hug like only Cole can give. And sometimes Ethan reciprocates.

It has taken them this long to learn "hug" and "kiss," so I imagine it will be some years before they truly understand "love each other." But for now, I find the hugs and the sharing of toys, even amidst the screaming that preceeds it, classic.

The boys have a funny way of showing up even when they are not around. Here we see that they think the Emergency Storm Station needs water more than the flashlight that normally resides in it's place.

How'd they do that?

The boys are so funny. Even after they've been napping, or off playing by themselves for a while I'll find traces of them here and there. Some of these little evidences of "boys" are funnier than others. It's their little brains at work that kicks me! See, they find interesting ways of making every brighter and happier even when they are cranky and naughty. Because I can find joy in those boys no matter what- their clever little minds devise cute schemes to leave clues for me! Sometimes it's a book left on the floor in our bedroom; or a hat that is too big for Ethan to wear, but nonetheless adorable that he does left in the living room; or a sippy cup where it clearly doesn't belong- or does it?

If I didn't have the boys, or were to suddenly lose them- it would be little things like this that I'd never want to change. I'd leave that cup there forever and be content to know that while they were here, they brought glory to God through their image-bearing silliness and uniqueness. I would miss the messes I obsessively clean up 3 times a day; and the nasty crumbs that get stuck on the bottom of my feet when I walk in the kitchen in socks; and the ear-piercing screams that I swear are making me deaf; and the poopy diapers (really? yes); and the slapping and hitting that I have to break up 50 times a day; and the blankets and clothes on the floor during nap time when they've fallen asleep undressing themselves; and a bajillion other miscellaneous things that make my heart melt.

You'd miss it all, too.

But for now, I remember how it felt to see their tiny little bodies in the isolettes at the hospital for the first month of their lives; and it brings back the insane sanity that gives me joy and peace- knowing I don't deserve them. So when I do get impatient, I'm brought back to this, and suddenly, whatever was bothering me a minute ago is not that big of a deal any more. See?